just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
