hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
