return my video game
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
