I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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