so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
