Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
