what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
kristin has been a bad kristin
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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