: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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