problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
