I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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