is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
