I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
