is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
