I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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