Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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