He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
