I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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