1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
