everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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