I bet he comes in French.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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