He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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