dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
