remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
