My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
