Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
