I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
