I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
