No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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