Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Blood and glitter go together right?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
