She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
