the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
