It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
