Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
