So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
