A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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