i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
