im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
