she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize