yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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