Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
