there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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