Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
