What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm like, not good at living.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
