I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
