So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
