i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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