i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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