Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
