I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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