I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
