Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
